I have a very difficult time figuring out what Jon is thinking at times. I tend to assume far too much based on facial expressions and body language. Jon tends to read my actions as passivity. And while our behaviors and actions may give some glimpse of what is going on inside, we have learned that we must give each other the benefit of the doubt. The best way to do that is to not assume and instead talk to each other.

Sometimes after a long day, I really cannot handle any more people. Jon finds watching a little TV to be relaxing and entertaining in the evening. When I want to go in the other room to relax and read, he begins to feel guilty, thinking he is being selfish, and that I am upset. So instead of watching TV, he may read. I then feel like I am controlling him when I want to do my own thing, and he feels like he is being selfish.

For all of you reading, you have the answers, I know; but when you’re actually living this moment out, it isn’t as clear. Pride, a desire for control, comfort, or a nasty combination of all three get in the way.

Lying in bed one night recently, we talked it out. Sometimes, I just need that timeout from people (not Jon, but people in general) for a period in the evening, and he realized he could do what he enjoys in freedom and independence. I do enjoy watching basketball with him, and he can watch more without fearing that I am angry with him. We get it for right now. For this season at least. Until the next time we assume or neglect to talk. Such is marriage. Talk as much as possible. 🙂

-k