I wrote this in April. But like most things I write, read it over, wait for Jon to read over it and make edits, read it again, and then go back and forth as to whether I should post it. I don’t speak as an expert on race. I speak as an expert at being a white woman, who claims faith in Jesus, in America. I speak out of a heart to not want to have these dialogues only in my mind if it can challenge others that look like me to think, act, and communicate differently. Thanks for reading. 

Derek Chauvin’s trial for the murder of George Floyd ended this week. It will be a year next month since his death. I started reflecting over the tragedy of his death and how poorly his family was treated when it first happened. I cannot really think of a time when a murder was shown on tv like this. Can you imagine watching someone who you love dearly – a child, a brother – be killed and shown on television and the internet over and over? And while you grieve, his very life and worth as a human be attacked by thousands of people that never even met him – trying to justify such hate-filled treatment? The video of the attack couldn’t be shown enough. Until Black voices started saying, “hey, stop reposting this.” I am thankful that there were brave people there that captured the brutality of the attack, because the trial might have ended a lot differently without them. But I am realizing how disrespectful we were as fellow citizens. As humans. We couldn’t honor their family. We couldn’t say it was wrong. We couldn’t call it murder until almost a year after and hundreds if not thousands of showings of the very breath being taking from this man. This person. This real man that was loved, cherished, and made in the image of God. I have never seen a white man or white woman being treated in such a way unless it was some kind tv show (“entertainment”) and that is exactly how Mr. Floyd’s death was treated. What does this do to our minds? Handling such footage this way can disconnect us from the reality of the tragedy. Especially as white people. Most of us probably don’t see our brother or dad or neighbor or best friend in his death. 

Jack has asked recently who is Derek Chauvin. I explained in pretty plain terms, but he does know that many black men have been killed by police. Should a 4 year old know about police brutality? I don’t know. But he does. Jack can understand that someone’s life is valuable. He understands that God created everyone in His image. He respects police and would love to meet one. Even talks of being one. But at the same time he questions why some cannot be trusted. We have taken some time to talk through what happened. I have tried to explain that the police man, like any of us, can have hate in their hearts (not valuing another as the image-bearer of God) for those who look different from them. That is at the heart of this loss and others where those in authority did not value the lives of the men in the handcuffs. And we can all be guilty of that too. 

If you haven’t listened to Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison’s speech following the trial, I would definitely give it a listen. 

-k