I am writing this post with my future self in mind. Over the next 18 years (and beyond) there will be many days when I worry about my son. I will want Jack to stay close so that I can protect him. I will want to control certain situations so that I can lessen the chance of him getting hurt or even making mistakes. At least, my intention will be for those results.

This week I have been reminded that God is ultimately in control. One of the passages I read in Job walks through God’s knowledge and work in aspects of life even when we haven’t thought of them or been in contact with them.

These are some of the examples God gives. He protects the animals of the wild. He knows the cycle of when mountain goats give birth–as my husband praised during prayer this week following our reading. He watches the young deer grow up in the open field and leave their families. He sees the ostrich lay their eggs on the ground and they are safe. He has commanded the wild hawk to station up on a tall tree in wait for his meal to move, so that he can provide for him and his young.

Right now, God knows the number of hairs on Jackson’s head. Even if I cannot feel Jack move sometimes, God knows every kick. At this point, I haven’t been able to teach Jack a single lesson and yet, he is living, breathing, eating, and moving. The Lord has him even if he is inside me. I am reminded how intimately God already knows Jackson even though we haven’t met him. God is his ultimate father and protector, and during this season of pregnancy I have learned this truth. I will need to be reminded of this many times once I meet my son.