I am very thankful to have married Jon one year ago today. It was the best day of my life for many reasons. To name a few–All the people I loved were together in one place, Jon and I made a covenant, and we were able to proclaim who Jesus is and the purpose of marriage in front of 150 of our closest friends and family.

Over the past 12 months, we have tried to be a bit vulnerable over our blog talking about what we are learning, and I want to take today to continue the routine. I will be honest when I say that I don’t mean this to advertise “my perfect life” or glorify the idea of marriage. There is a time to be real and a time to celebrate, so I want to take some time to be real but joyful about what awesome things I have seen over the past 12 months.

Over the past 12 months:

• I have seen jealousy lose the battle over my mind. I have learned to trust Jon. This is partly due to the fact that Jon does such a great job of reminding me of how much Jesus loves me and he does too.
• I have seen Jon fight sin full on and openly confess specific struggles with me.
• I have had a closer partner, to lay bare my shame and guilt, who has diligently reminded me that because Jesus has died on the cross I do not have shame and guilt.
• We have realized our inward focus and moved in the direction of pursuing people more.
• We have learned the importance of talking about our expectations so that we know how to serve one another better while also allowing  those pesky unrealistic/unhelpful expectations to come to the surface.
• I have seen Jon step up and speak truth to people even when it could have jeopardized his relationships.

And though I am celebrating all these, I have also come to a new realization. One that I am not proud of but one that I hope to be celebrating change next year at this time. More than any other proclamation, I want to tell everyone how well Jon loves me. I want to tell them about the specific things he does and says that honestly make me feel like a beautiful, pure princess. How he has learned to serve me so well without me sometimes even needing to talk about it. But those words cannot save people. At most they will make Jon sound high and mighty, and at least will cause jealousy or envy. Neither is helpful. What they need to hear from me is how God forgives someone that struggles to forgive others. Someone who judges, manipulates, and can be greedy. Someone who cares more about herself than even her loving husband. They need to hear that God fully knows them and fully loves them more than any person can. That is what I should be desiring to tell everyone. That is who I should be boasting about. For its because of those things that Jon and I can even have true love for one another. I am thankful for this recent awareness of unbelief.

So here is to one year J! I look forward to living life with you in the coming year and look forward to having new lessons and truths to share with others.

-k